Friedrich Nietzsche once said “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
These are powerful words when put into practice. I think most of us fail at things because we don’t know the why behind it. Just because we want something, doesn't mean we are putting the reasons behind them to make them a reality. When I was in college, I picked up a few habits because of some poor decisions on my part. I had tried to quit multiple times over the years, but I carried the baggage of those decisions for years. Being an athlete, you would think that I would have been more careful of what I put in my body but alas, habits are powerful without the proper WHY to overcome them.
When I finally met my wife, I found a great reason to greatly reduce the frequency, but I still didn’t completely abandon the practice. When we look at why it is usually related to two different outcomes: Seeking pleasure or avoiding pain. When we start to do things that are uncomfortable, we must develop habits, skills, and discipline to overcome the instinct so seek pleasure. One of my favorite speakers, Bedros Keullian, reminds me that purpose over pleasure is the path to a better life. When I found purpose in my life, vices were never the focus anymore. There was more of an urgency to remove them. When I discovered the why, I had to figure out the how.
The Program was the tool that was required. I didn’t see it at the time, but looking back I understand why I was able to stay the course. I had tried so many times to kick my habits and I never would stick with it. I would lie to myself and say I deserve these things. If I wanted to drink a 12 pack over the weekend or have a beer and a cigar every night, I work hard, so I deserve it. My perspective is a bit different at this point in my life. Working hard is the entry level that gets me the minimum in life. So why is that some sort of accomplishment? The society we live in has slipped down a few slopes over my lifetime; the one I think that has been the most detrimental is the acceptance of the celebration of mediocrity. I needed to break the cycle because I had become very comfortable.
Now we can begin, Episode 208 MFCEO. I can totally do that were my words as I listened to the message on repeat. I was even excited to tell my wife about my plan to get control and change our lives. It’s only five tasks, so how hard could It be? I failed on day 3! Ha! That’s when I realized how difficult this was going to be. The cool thing that I noticed was that my wife was all about me getting control over my vices and conquering some of my health challenges that I had developed due to my habits. When I developed a WHY outside of myself it gave me a different level of commitment to finish the task. With the newfound support of my wife, I was able to stick with it over the trying times.
We are always going to encounter adversity when we are trying to break a cycle. Andy calls them test days, but I believe that they are every day, it’s the little decisions we make that move us in the right direction. Adversity is a bit more powerful than that. I believe it is God’s way of seeing if you were serious about what you said you wanted. We can’t ask for strength without lifting the weight. They go hand and hand and there is nothing we can do to change that. If I am not tested every day, I am not trying. We are not supposed to walk through life on auto pilot. I wouldn’t have developed the mentality without the different life experiences and enduring the challenges along the way. Going through the fire of adversity with my wife was also an eye opener as well. It gave me a metric on what it means when someone has your back on another level.
Ending the first round of 75 Hard, I had a freak accident at work and tweaked my back. It was the craziest scenario ever. I came home and did my second workout of outdoor cardio. It was uncomfortable but I was able to finish. The next day was day 74 and I couldn’t stand up straight. When I got back from the doctor, my wife had her workout clothes on and asked me if I was ready to go. “I don’t care if we only make it around the block, there is no way I am going to let you fail, we have sacrificed too much.” It never occurred to me that working a full-time job, working out twice a day and digging in on my side hustle would have taken a toll on her. The benefits were undeniable, but the cost was high when it came to time investments that had to be made. The WHY was the reason to find the how and endure.